I am hostage to a cold virus. A particularly nasty one. I am fine, but the kids caught it, one after the other. So it has been looong days at home, contemplating the state of kids TV. While channel surfing to appease my sniffly youngest child, I happened upon an animated show about walking, talking piñatas - Viva Piñata

I can kind of see how we got to having walking talking piñatas on the telly - it is apparently based on an Xbox game (we have not yet been dragged into the income sucking vortex of games consoles) - but for the most part, I am baffled. I am trying to imagine how the pitch to the network went:

Steve: So Todd, hit me with your team's ideas for kids TV next season.

Todd: Well, Steve, first up we have Tiffany's idea for an animated soft porn series based on a forbidden love between dolphin and father of four, Kevin, and his sea urchin mistress, Pinky. Our working title is "The Prickly Adventures of Kevin and Pinky". We kinda figure that pornography is the new frontier for kids TV, now that we have pushed the boundaries with animated violence. It should ruffle a few feathers, Steve, but give it a few years and I think it will be the Pokemon of this generation.

Steve: Hmmm, anything else?

Todd: Gary has drawn up some fantastic storyboards for a musical series based on the real life experiences of tax auditors, actuaries and file clerks. We imagine this will be aspirational programming for white middle class kids who watch American Idol, but who also want to grow up to be just like daddy. We see feature potential in this one.

Steve: Anything else on the boards?

Todd: Well, Microsoft have approached us about a game they have in production featuring walking, talking piñatas...

Steve: Let's go with the piñatas.


PS: If you are looking another installment of my childhood stories, it is in production...with hopefully more funny, and less grim.